Jumping on the ‘neuro’ fever that has had the UK in its grip for a number of years, I’ve read many books and articles about ‘neural plasticity’ or the malleability of the brain. New findings are indicating that our brains remain very plastic well into adulthood. The thing is we actually know that we can … Read moreTeaching an Old Dog new Tricks
“Was not the very sight of the friend who sat behind you, was not the recollection of what had been, the knowledge of her influence, the indelible, immoveable impression of what persuasion had once done – was it not all against me?” The above quote is passionately spoken by Captain Frederick Wentworth, in the classic … Read morePersuasion – just or unjust
One dictionary definition of rapport describes it as a ‘sympathetic relationship or understanding’. However, relationships take time to develop. Sometimes I’ve seen rapport described as ‘trust + responsiveness’. I think this might be the view of many NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) practitioners. One thing is certain; rapport is an important part of building a solid relationship … Read moreCan rapport be too much of a good thing?
“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference” Sir Winston Churchill I’m not sure if Churchill was referring to the attitude I describe in this article. I’m also not sure that I agree it is a ‘little thing’. However, I am sure that he was right in saying that attitude makes a big … Read moreGetting into a right state…
“One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it is conveyed.” Frederich Nietsche This article is not just about the tone we employ, but about interpreting or misinterpreting what has been said, though our tone of voice can play a critical part in how what we mean to … Read moreYou’re twisting my words
“We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak” Attributed to two ancient philosophers: the founder of Stoicism, Zeno of Citium (BC c.335 to c.262) and Epictetus (AD55 – c.135), one of its advocates. Whichever one of them it was, their words seem as relevant today as … Read moreAre you listening actively?
‘Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?’ said the March Hare. ‘Exactly so,’ said Alice. ‘Then you should say what you mean,’ the March Hare went on. ‘I do,’ Alice hastily replied; ‘at least — at least I mean what I say — that’s the same thing, you … Read moreConversational styles
‘We are lonesome animals. We spend all of our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say-and to feel- ‘Yes, that is the way it is, or at least that is the way I feel it.’ You’re not as alone as you … Read moreStories – how do you tell yours?
“You’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, don’t mess with Mister Inbetween.” Music by Harold Arlen. Lyrics by Johnny Mercer. Published in 1944. Whenever I hear this song (Rumer released a very good cover version in late 2012) it makes me smile and lifts my mood. This could … Read moreFake it to make it (aka ‘Accentuate the Positive’)